Edith Södergran: Poems
Willful and cold my heart became
when I began longing for your caresses.
My sisters have not yet felt
that I no longer look at them…
I no longer speak to anybody…
How often don’t I kiss
the tiny kitten that sleeps near my breast.
I’d want to call it a bit sad,
but my heart is happy and laughs at everything.
Sisters, I do what I never wanted,
sisters, hold me back –
I don’t want to leave you.
When I close my eyes he’s standing in front of me,
I have many thoughts for him and none for all others.
- - - - - - - -
My life has become threatening like a stormy sky,
my life has become fake like reflecting water,
my life walks a tightrope high in the air:
I dare not look at it.
All the wishes I had yesterday
wither like the lowest leaves of the palmtree,
all the prayers I said yesterday
are useless and unanswered.
All of my words I’ve taken back,
and all that I owned I’ve given to the poor,
who wished me happiness.
When I really think about it
I have nothing left of myself except my black hair,
my two long locks which curl like snakes.
My lips have turned to the red-hot coals,
I no longer remember when they started burning…
Terrible was the great fire which laid waste to my youth.
Oh, the inevitable comes like the cut of a sword –
I go without taking leave, unnoticed,
I leave completely and never return.